Planning a funeral is not an easy task for anyone. It involves making many important decisions during a time of emotional distress. While you are already reeling from the loss of your loved one, planning a funeral under those circumstances is overwhelming and challenging as well.
A common question that often arises during this phase is whether you should hold a wake after the service.
Wakes after a funeral give friends and family of the deceased a chance to gather together, share memories and support each other in a comfortable setting. While it is not mandatory, wakes are generally held after most traditional funeral services, as they offer comfort and closure. However, not everyone chooses to host a wake.
Let us take a look at the role of wakes after funerals and help you decide what aligns with your needs and values.
What Is the Purpose of a Wake?
A wake provides a meaningful moment for friends and family to come together after the funeral. People share stories, laugh, cry, and offer comfort to each other. It is more of a transition from a ceremony to personal remembrance.
Unlike traditional funeral services, which focus mainly on rituals, a wake creates space for human connection in an informal atmosphere. Attendees often chat over tea or a meal, which helps ease the emotional intensity and distress.
Should You Hold a Wake?
The decision to hold a wake depends entirely on you. Some families value the comfort of shared stories and quiet company, while others may prefer a private and reflective time at home.
Several factors influence this choice. These include the deceased’s wishes, your cultural or religious traditions, and your family’s emotional needs. No law or rule mandates a wake.
If you find the idea comforting and helpful, you can go ahead and hold a wake. If it feels like too much, then that perspective is equally valid, and you may not hold one as well.
What Usually Happens at a Wake?
There is no strict format for a wake. You can shape it around anything that feels meaningful. Some people invite close friends to their home while others hire a hall to host a wake. Light refreshments are common, but there’s no pressure to plan a full meal. You might display photos, play music your loved one enjoyed, or arrange a memory table. You can keep it simple or do whatever suits you best.
The key aim of a wake is to create a peaceful and respectful space for the deceased and their family and friends.
You don’t mandatorily need to hold a wake after a funeral. However, many families find that it helps them process grief and connect with others. It complements formal funeral services and allows people to reflect, remember, and support one another. At Wyatt Brothers Funeral Directors, we understand how important these personal decisions are. Our team guides families with compassion and care, helping you choose what feels right for your situation. If you’re unsure, we’re here to help every step of the way. Contact us now.

